Vacation Eating

As a kid, my family never flew off to far away, exotic locales for summer vacation. We did, however, take long car trips, usually to a rented house in the country for an extended summer stay with my parent’s friends and their piles of kids, or down the shore for the day to go to the beach, walk on the boardwalk, eat molasses paddles and salt water taffy, and see relatives.

My parents would pack us three boys into the back of the car – a boat-size Plymouth Fury 3 without air conditioning that probably used more gasoline than an aircraft carrier. For some reason, no seat belts were required in the back seat where we were undoubtedly beating the snot out of each other. I’m not sure why my father, a college physics professor, was so lenient with the seat belts in the posterior of the car, while in the front seat they were deemed essential. I’m pretty sure that Newton’s First Law of Motion – his law of inertia (you know…bodies at rest stay at rest, bodies in motion stay in motion…) – applied in both locations. Either he was lacking in his knowledge of this law (highly unlikely), he was testing the law (somewhat more likely), he was sick of three noisy boys and was trying to get rid of us (even more likely), or he was supremely confident in his driving skills (not so likely). Either way, when it was my turn to raise children, seat belts were a requirement no matter their age or position within the vehicle. I guess it was a different era.

As my parents drove down the highway to our vacation getaway in the days before E-ZPass, tolls were always a moment of excitement; a brief oasis during the long, hot, boring journey. If we were lucky, it was an unmanned basket-type collector into which you could throw change. There was always an argument over whose turn it was to hurl in the coins. And there was always controversy and additional chaos if one of us missed the basket; not only did the driver of the car behind us get angry waiting, but we were further delayed by having to locate additional exact change. If the toll booth was manned, we always shared our candy, more often than not SweeTarts, with the slightly baffled toll collector. We would clamor over each other to reach our hands out of the driver’s side rear window to share our goods. We weren’t wearing seat belts, after all.

On long trips, my parents quickly got tired of our back seat disputes, as would any parent with three boys. We tried establishing boundaries over which one brother could not extend, but these borders were soon breached and all hell broke loose. Eventually, for the sake of sanity, my parents stumbled upon a solution that kept us occupied for hours, although I’m not sure they should get credit for the discovery. This was long before TVs in the car, handheld video games, smartphones, or anything of the like, and long after our patience had run out playing car games. “A is for apple. B is for banana.” “Is it bigger than a bread box?” Or competing to tabulate all of the letters of the alphabet before the others, which more often than not resulted in additional disagreements. “I saw that ‘Q’ on the truck first, so you can’t use it.”

Their trick was ingenious, if a little disgusting, and the price was right, meaning free. When we stopped at highway rest areas, we would gather napkins and straws. Now I don’t know if you have kids, but if you do, you understand that there is really only one thing a kid can do with napkins and straws in the back of a car, and it wasn’t creating an art project. We made spitballs.

We would swipe at least a few straws each, along with a big wad of napkins, and when we piled back into the rear of the vehicle, the games began. We could have trained our weapons on each other, or my parents, for that matter, but they must have pointed us in another direction. The target was the rear view mirror. We spent much of the ride shooting wet, soggy spitballs from the back seat at our mark up front. Many missed, covering the dashboard, but a few hit the bullseye, and clung hesitantly to the mirror. As the trip progressed, the spent spitballs built up, covering the surfaces in front of my parents.

I’m not sure what they did to prevent us from turning our weapons on each other. Perhaps they kept stockpiles of arms and ammunition in the glove compartment, should supplies run low or one brother steal or destroy another’s straw, or maybe they bribed us with fabulous prizes if we were the most accurate; whatever works to keep the kids under control.

The worst part wasn’t that spitballs covered the dashboard. It was that my parents never cleaned them off. We’d drive around for months with the console coated, spitballs drying out and slowly peeling off, one by one falling on the floor.

This summer I hope your vacation travels are worry-free, and you keep your kids occupied – either in a modern or ancient way – so they don’t fight on your long car trip.

Vacation Eating

Eating during vacation can be a tricky matter. Everyone must be satisfied with the food, meals must be somewhat healthy, and you don’t want to break the bank eating in overpriced touristy establishments. You’re already paying a fortune, after all. Over the years I’ve discovered some tricks that make vacation eating a pleasure rather than a chore.

1. Plan ahead. By planning ahead, you know what meals you’re going to cook and when you will eat out. You can bring supplies you know you’ll need. You will save money on ingredients by bringing what you can, and you will make sure you have the tools necessary to prepare your meals. You will also know exactly what you need to buy when you inevitably have to go shopping.
2. Cook a couple simple meals if possible, have take-out or dine at a restaurant with picnic tables once or twice, and have one nice, fancy meal, preferably the night before you leave to return home.
3. Make a reservation for that nice, sit-down meal, and make it well in advance. There’s nothing worse than not getting into the restaurant you go to every year or having to wait for hours, especially with hungry kids.
4. Be flexible and bring snacks and appetizers. You never know when plans change and you need to prepare something else for dinner or when you’re going to return from the beach or that day-long hike, and you might just need to relax with a snack before you’re ready to eat a late dinner.
5. Know the day, time, and location of the local Farmers’ market. It’s always an interesting activity, and you can usually get ideas and ingredients for dinner.
6. Use paper plates to minimize kitchen time.
7. Don’t worry too much about healthy eating – you’re on vacation after all.
8. Eat ice cream at least once a day and I don’t mean for dessert. The best time for ice cream is mid to late afternoon, when you are heading back to your base for a shower and a nap.

Suggestions for Meals and Other:

Breakfast – make it simple – cereal and milk, bagels, yogurt, granola, and fruit, or maybe eggs

Lunch – simple sandwiches to eat on the beach or side of the trail, and don’t forget some chips

Appetizers – cheese and crackers, good olives, artichoke hearts, nuts, stuffed grape leaves, prepared dips, anything you can open, put on a plate, and insert in mouth

Dinner – simple foods that don’t require a lot of effort; pre-made, frozen pesto or tomato sauce is perfect the first night (it defrosts by the time you get there if you’re driving, and all you need to do is boil pasta, grate cheese, and find an accompanying vegetable and loaf of bread); if there’s a grill, burgers and hot dogs, and maybe pre-marinated chicken won’t be too much trouble

Dessert – pre-made or store-bought cookies or brownies

Pantry Basics:

If you are able to cook, there are a few basics that you don’t want to be without and don’t want to have to buy. Bring a small bag or jar of salt, pepper, sugar, and olive oil, and a couple of sticks of butter. A head of garlic may also come in handy. And a block of parmesan cheese (thanks to Calvin Trillin). Why not bring all of those leftover ketchup packets sitting unused in the pantry from a year’s worth of take-out? They might come in handy, or you can leave them for the next guests.

Tools of the Trade:

If you are staying at a location where you can cook, you never know if the tools of the trade will exist, and if they do, be up to your standards. It pays to bring a chef’s knife, a paring knife, a microplane grater (works for cheese, zest, ginger, and garlic), and vegetable peeler. And always bring a corkscrew. A plastic, drip-style cone coffee maker (bring filters) will suffice for a few days, at least for that first cup of the day.

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