Schooled By My Daughter – Crispy Sesame Tofu and Broccoli

As a very young child, my daughter Ariana was the meanest teacher around. She loved to play school with a pointer and easel, standing in front of the class made up of my wife Marci, my son Jacob, and me. She wielded the stick dangerously, and we feared that the finger jutting off the plastic hand at the pointer’s end might find our eye. We never got hurt, but the threat was always there. For reasons we never understood, she gave us new names; Marci was dubbed “Mary,” and Jacob became “Ronald.” I was dismissed as the janitor, allowing me to escape and take care of other tasks that needed doing around the house. However, Mary and Ronald were trapped. There was very little actual learning going on; it was mostly discipline. Luckily today, when she teaches me in the kitchen, she is a much more benevolent instructor.

One of the things that makes me happiest in life is that my children enjoyed my food as they were growing up, learned from and cooked with me from time to time, and have now taken on the mantle themselves, preparing many of their own meals as young adults. What surprises me is how much I learn about cooking from them.

Let’s take Ariana as an example. Recently graduated from college and now residing in Brooklyn, let’s say she’s not living an extravagant life. I mean no criticism here, she’s in her early 20’s after all, but the money is not exactly flowing. However, she very responsibly finds inexpensive yet healthy ways to nourish herself without dining out too frequently or getting takeout.

As seems appropriate considering her age, the liberal arts college she attended, her position in life, and her friend group, much of the food she eats is plant-based. There’s a definite focus on tofu, chickpeas and other beans, noodles, and vegetables. And one pot or one bowl meals are the norm. It’s not that she doesn’t eat chicken or meat or use more than one pan to cook, however, these proteins are mostly reserved for when she dines out, and the less dishes, the better.

It’s a very different style of cooking than my own. Although I don’t eat huge amounts of red meat, and we’ve reduced our intake of chicken, they are still important ingredients in my way of cooking. And my meals tend to have a greater variety on the plate, with a main course and a couple of sides, even if our carbohydrate consumption has declined dramatically in the last few years. With more space in my kitchen, and a dishwasher, I also have no problem amassing a pile of dishes when I cook.

As a result, Ariana gets few of her recipes from me. While she doesn’t hesitate to consult me for advice when needed, and I predict she’ll rediscover more family recipes in the future, she finds most of what she cooks in a different way…from social media. She is constantly scanning Instagram and Tik Tok for ideas, and when she finds a dish she likes, she searches for variations on the theme, absorbing little bits from each to create her own.

Now of course, this makes sense. After all, when I get an idea for a dish, I’ll often search the internet and look at a variety of recipes. I let them guide me, taking or leaving suggestions, changing quantities, and substituting ingredients, I make the recipe my own. She does the same. But whereas I am usually looking at written recipes, with detailed ingredient lists and directions, she’s getting it all from 30 second video segments. A difference between generations, I guess.

Ariana is constantly making recommendations for me, sending me clips of recipes I should try. For many of them, I’m like “meh.” Some others are intriguing. One thing she has pushed for a few years now is tofu. Even though I have never refused it when it’s served, and I occasionally use spiced, pressed tofu in my kitchen, I have never been much of a bean curd fan. Fried I can deal with, even if that kind of defeats the point. Otherwise, I find the supple texture of its cubes disappointing.

Nonetheless, Ariana has schooled me. She told me there is a way to make it crispy and actually interesting, without frying, and that I need to give it a try. “But it’s tofu, I thought,” and I hesitated. She continued to perfect her technique, serving it to her vegetarian and vegan friends, and with me she persisted, pestering me to take the leap. Sometimes I would buy tofu, and it would sit in the refrigerator waiting patiently. I always ended up looking past it and eventually would have to throw it away.

Finally, when Ari was living at home for a few months post-graduation, she decided to prepare crispy tofu with broccoli for dinner with me in the kitchen so she could show me her technique and make me a convert. I watched as she cooked.

She instructed me that we would use a scorching hot oven and a sheet pan to get a crisp sear, a technique I take advantage of for the best roasted vegetables. She explained that mixing corn starch with oil would absorb water resulting in perfect crispness as it browned on the pan. She demonstrated that crumbling the block into irregular pieces of different sizes and shapes resulted in an abundance of crags adding more surface area to become crunchy, the smaller pieces the crispest of all, and the larger ones remained slightly soft on the inside.

The result was impressive. With added broccoli, a flavorful sauce, and perhaps a pile of rice, this was a recipe I could use. And I now notice people using this technique for preparing tofu all over the internet.

Not only is this dish delicious, it has opened a whole new niche of dinners (which of course I have yet to try) based on this method. Halal-cart style chicken over rice, replaced with tofu, has got to be good. And why not grate the tofu and use it to make tacos? I’ve been searching for a way to make tofu for banh mi for years. Maybe she has finally sent me down a promising path.

Ariana’s lesson was a success, and this recipe has become an important part of my repertoire. I am no longer relegated to custodian status when she is teaching, I get to keep my name, and luckily when schooling me in the kitchen she didn’t wield her chef’s knife like she did that pointer as a kid.

Crispy Sesame Tofu and Broccoli

The key to making this dish is to dry the tofu as much as possible. Ari is too impatient, so she doesn’t take the necessary 15 minutes to half hour to press the tofu to squeeze out as much liquid as possible. In this way, it will crisp up quicker and better. Make sure to break the tofu into different size pieces. This will result in a more interesting variety of textures.

Add whatever vegetables and sauce that you want. I steam broccoli here because it’s simpler to control, although you could easily sear your vegetables on the sheet pan. As for the sauce, this one is slightly spicy and sweet, and it coats the tofu and broccoli beautifully. It’s mostly Ariana’s recipe that I assume she got from her social media feeds, but I have modified it a bit. Feel free to change ingredients or measurements to make it more or less sweet and spicy to meet your needs. To make this vegan, find vegan oyster sauce and use agave or brown sugar in place of honey.

serves 2, 1 hour

1 – 16 oz. block of extra firm or firm tofu

1½ Tbsp. cornstarch

1 tsp. five spice powder

3 Tbsp. vegetable oil, divided

1 head broccoli, broken into bite-size florets

1 large clove garlic, chopped

1 Tbsp. chopped ginger

1 Tbsp. gochujang (Korean red chili paste)

1 Tbsp. oyster sauce (or vegan oyster sauce)

1 Tbsp. soy sauce

1 Tbsp. sriracha

½ Tbsp. honey (or agave, or brown sugar)

1 tsp. sesame oil

½ tsp. white sesame seeds

½ tsp. black sesame seeds

2 scallions, chopped

1. Preheat oven to 425 ^oF. Place sheet pan on bottom rack to preheat.
2. Remove tofu from its container, discard liquid, and place on a plate. Invert another plate and place on top of the tofu. Put a book or pot or other weight on top of the plate and press the tofu for 15 minutes to a half hour. Discard liquid and blot pressed tofu with a paper towel. Using your hands, break into various sized and shaped pieces, no bigger than about an inch in diameter. Place in a medium bowl.
3. Mix cornstarch, five spice powder, and 2 tablespoons of oil in a small bowl, then pour over tofu pieces and toss gently to coat.
4. Place tofu on preheated sheet pan, spread out, and cook on the bottom oven rack, stirring and scraping after about 15 minutes and a few times thereafter until crisp, for a total of about a half hour to 40 minutes. Remove from oven and set aside.
5. Bring 1½ cups of water to a boil in a wok or large saucepan with a lid. Add broccoli pieces, cover, and cook until just crisp tender. Drain, set aside, and discard any remaining water.
6. Add the remaining 1 tablespoon of oil to wok or saucepan. Heat on medium high and add garlic and ginger. Cook, stirring, until fragrant but not browned, about 1 minute. Add gochujang, oyster sauce (or vegan oyster sauce), soy sauce, sriracha, honey (or agave or brown sugar), and sesame oil and stir to combine. Cook for another minute or so to allow flavors to meld and then add broccoli and tofu. Stir to coat.
7. Top with white and black sesame seeds and chopped scallions. Serve immediately with or without rice.

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